Tuesday 28 April 2009

A broken heart

Just over a week ago my 12 year marriage to Babes ended shockingly and suddenly with the added complication of a third party presence.

Its very difficult to accept as I thought we had a relatively stable and harmonious relationship. We certainly provided the Princess with a happy home life.

The depth of my hurt and pain is unbelievable and at times feels unbearable.

In saying that I have dug very deep and pulled up an inner strength I didn't know I had to get the Princess and I through this in a way that will have the least long term damage, particularly on her.

I have been reading and writing, making tiny tentative plans that are helping to empower me to work towards the bright and sunny future the Princess and I have ahead of us.

We are so very lucky to be cushioned by the loving support of family and friends.

We are going to make it through this, with or without Babes, and be better for it.

I am going to try and blog everyday, keeping my future posts light and positive with lots of pretty things to show and tell!

I was going to clean my house today which is not so pretty but I think I will take a little 'me' time and paint my toes or something!

Take Care


Connie said...

I am soooooo sorry and sad for you, sugar. I can't even imagine how this is breaking your heart and the Princess' heart. My thoughts are definitely with you.

Karin said...

oh Rachael...I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sending you tons of hugs your way. Take good care of yourself...Karin

Kerryanne @ Shabby Art Boutique said...

Oh Rachael... how sad I feel for you. I think it is amazing that you have been able to pull out this inner strength to support both you and the Princess. Stay strong love and know that you are not alone - you have a great big happy and supportive blogging community at your fingertips.
Hugs ~ Kerryanne

Natasha Burns said...

Rachael I am so very sorry this has happened to you, and can't imagine how hard it must be.
Take as much "me" time as you want, and and then some more. Thinking of you and the Princess xoxo

Lori said...

Rachael, i am so sorry to hear this...and really i have no words...what a terrible shock this must have been for you, i can't even imagine...i know you will do what is best for your princess...sending lots of hugs your way...i wish i could do more!!!

Aimz said...

oh girl, bloody hell, scuse my language, just want to say I totally understand how easily this can happen, been there myself lots of times where I've felt like ending it and sometimes I still do. Gawd, please take this humungous hug from me to you and your princess.

Alicia ~ Time Worn Style said...

So sorry to hear the news Rachael. Dont feel like you have to keep your blog all light and pretty if thats not how you are feeling, sometimes blogs are great to discuss how you are feeling. there is a great and supportive community here.
hugs to you and princess

~Becca~Bluebird Rose said...

I am so sorry to hear this.
Please don't feel like you have to keep things "light" with your bloggy friends; we care about you and want to be here for you.

Alison Gibbs said...

Rachael, so sorry to hear this news.
You know you will emerge as a better, stronger woman when you pull through this. People say time heals but 'personally' I don't believe that, you just learn to live with it.
Take care

Gail McCormack said...

Hi Rachael
I'm so sorry hear you have been hurt so badly.
If blogging everyday helps you that's great, but make sure you blog about whatever you like, if you feel like venting do so - let it out girl!!
Keep reminding yourself "Time will heal the hurt"

I'm Thinking of you and your little Princess

Danette said...

I hope you painted your toes instead of cleaning the house today. One thing I've learned over the years... housework will ALWAYS be there!
Remember to do something that makes you happy and even makes you laugh at loud at least once every day! You and the princess will get through this. My daughter and her her little princess are going through the same thing right now. It's never easy. I'm praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry! *hugs* I agree with Danette, I hope those toenails are looking pretty! The housework isn't going anywhere - I've wished and wished and yet mine is ALWAYS there the next day.

bluemuf said...

Rachael, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. Will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

Sending big hugs to you and Princess.

Hugs Karen

Heather ~Pretty Petals said...

oh my gosh Rachel I am SO Sorry. I bet your heart is just broken right now. I hope you know what a special lady you are and know that we are all here pulling for you to somehow get through this.

DEFInately paint those toes... and treat yourself to something else you need to feel better too.

I am sure things won't feel very "pretty" for you for awhile so if you need to vent be sure to post so we can all lift you up.

Hugs to you.... and prayers for your family. xoxo Heather

Stephenie said...

My heart aches for you..I can't even believe you're going through this right now...Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...Please let me know if you need anything...I'm thinking of you...

A Thrifty Mrs said...

Goodness me, I am so terribly, terribly sorry to hear your news.
You sound as though you are doing well, but don't keep it bottled up inside.
Should you need to rant and rave, we will be here.
If you need to talk to someone removed from the situation drop me an email, I'll be there.

Thinking of you.
Take care of yourself.


Linda said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to to hear this ...my heart hurts for you. Sending hugs to both you and the Princess....Linda

Pink Slippers said...




Betty said...

Rachael, Do you hair, do your toes, buy a new outfit. I've been where you are right now. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. But, I promise you it will get better.

Mrs. Cherry Heart said...

Oh dear Rachael...I am so so sorry you are hurting. My heart is breaking just thinking about you!
Life is not always fair.

Take care of yourself and that lil angel of yours! Pamper yourself and know that we are all here for you sweetheart!

I wish I lived closer...I'd come and make you a cup of tea and light some candles and we would eat ice cream and giggle all night! te-heee

Luvs ya girl....
Do let me know if there is anything at all that I can do for you!

Hugz and Blessings,

Cape Cod Rambling Rose said...

Oh my goodness, Rachael! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers (and the Princess as well)! =) hugs!

Unknown said...

Oh you poor girl! That sounds awful. Please go easy on yourself as you go through this time! We are all here for you! HUGS!

Great-Granny Grandma said...

Rachel, I am soooo sorry. I can't even start to imagine the shock and pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your princess, and please don't feel you have to make your blog all light and happy. You don't. You are entitled to feel everything I'm sure you must be feeling, and what better place to vent and get it out of your system. Then you can go back to light and pretty again. ((((((((( ))))))))) (big hugs)

Great-Granny Grandma said...

P.S. Errata in my last comment. I meant to say that you are entitled to write about everything you must be feeling. It's so very healing when you can bring your feelings out into the open, and give your readers--especially those who may have experienced a similar situation--to encourage you and walk with you in the days ahead.

I don't know what your beliefs are, but there is a verse of Scripture that came into my mind while I was reading your post, and I hope you don't mind my sharing it with you here. It's from Isaiah 43:2 - "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;"

Unknown said...

Oh hjoney, I am so so sorry!! I have not been a good friend, I should have been here. My heart goes out to you. I am sending lots of love and hugs. Please feel free to email me if you need to. the same thing happened to me in my first marriage. It is so painful. But you will get through it and happily move on. I KNOW it doesnt feel like it right now, but you will!!
I love you Rachael. PLEASE take care of you!!

Celestina Marie said...

Dear Rachael,
I am so sorry to read about this heartbreak. My hugs I send to you and Princess.
You are so strong and I admire your outlook. It will get better, and in the meantime, you have good friends who care about you and send their love here in blog land.
Keep thinking positive.
Love you and sending up prayers for you and Princess.

Take good care~~ Celestina Marie

Beth Leintz said...

Rachael, I'm so sorry to hear you news. Please know that you have lots and lots of friends who want to and will help you through this.

Thinking of you and the Princess

Katrina said...

HI Rachael, I have just caught up and must say I am sorry to hear this. I am happy to hear you are very strong...totally amazing! I hope everything works out for you and Princess xxxxxx