Thursday 9 December 2010

The Dating Game or should it be called The Mating Game?

Following on from my post about my new collection titled Eclectic Men, I thought I would give you a run down on the highs and lows and ups and downs of Internet dating...

My foray into Internet dating started on the recommendation of a resource I downloaded on how to recover from being cheated on, this resource cost the Wasband $90 US, I had his credit card number - haha!

Anyway one of the recommendations was to have coffee and go to movies with male friends to build your confidence back up, well I didn't have any male friends as such and didn't think my girl friends would lend me their partners!  Where do I find some male friends I wondered and then I had a light bulb moment,  ONLINE!!!  My own slant on what was recommended - LOL

The first site I registered for cost $30 NZD per month to be a member, very pricey and then I found another site $10 NZD per month, bargain!!!  I suspect you get what you pay for...

To belong and to 'find and meet friends' you register, pay and create a witty and interesting profile of yourself with a stunning photo that has been photo shopped!  Ok, I am joking about the photo shop bit!  And then you wait...

not for long though, your new meat, they sniff you out like bloodhounds and you can't keep up with the messages coming into your mailbox.

Sounds great doesn't it!

It was an eye opener and I mean an EYE OPENER. Men think nothing of doing the following, and this is often without even a hello in the first line of their first message to you...

"do you want to f#@*?"
"how much do you charge?"
"can I buy your underwear?"
"would you like to watch me on cam?"
"can I watch you on cam?"

and they send you revolting photo's of their private parts... which believe me could do with a lot of photo shopping!!!

So you very quickly acquaint yourself with the settings on your account and fortunately you can prevent most of that from getting to your mailbox!!!  But truly, that is what happens, I thought I was reasonably unshockable but I swear my jaw would hit my keyboard some nights until I figured out I could prevent those messages!!!

It's quite easy to sort out the chaff from the hay, you reject 99.% of them and engage in humorous and clever chat with the 1% that sounds and looks ok and after a while you meet them for coffee!

I have had some interesting coffee experiences, the guy who turned out to be 6ft8 compared to my 5ft and had cerebral palsy and stuttered, not that there is anything wrong with that but he hadn't told me so it was slightly shocking when I met him! The guy who went on and on about his ex wife and how she screwed  him over financially, the guy I had coffee with whose wedding I went to 6 weeks later or the white shoe man who I posted about!  And then finally the Cartoonist who was a decent man and who I was involved with for 15 months until recently.

And because I like to have a man in my life, I am back in the Dating Game... and have met a couple of nice guys, one of who might develop into something further than a friend....or not!

Before I finish this post I need to reassure you that I have rules to keep me safe while going through the Internet Dating process:
I never divulge where I live or study
I never divulge that I have a child when conversing online
Coffee is always in public and I am careful when I drive home
I never give out my phone number

and finally my Princess has no idea of her Mummy's dating life and unless I meet a man I am very serious about and confident it is going to be a long term relationship, I would never introduce anyone into her life.

There you have it, Internet Dating 101!!!

I'll keep you posted!

take care

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Connie said...

My daughter just went through the "dating" game on the internet, sugar. I cannot TELL you some of the things she's seen and heard. Be careful out there. It's truly wicked!

A Bite of Country Cupcakes said...

Oh Golly!!!! Awful But so funny too!

Jillian's Bella Rosa Antiques said...

WOW, that is crazy! I do have to say I met Dear Hubs ONLINE and I did not have those awful things come into my inbox. I used LOVE@AOL but that was 9 years ago and it was free! Now it is called

FUN FUN FUN the dating world! I'm so glad you are being careful. :0)

It all finally came together for me when I gave up the control and told God he could have it. He found my man for me!



Anonymous said...

Ha, thats a trumatising reminder of the 6 weeks I tried my hand at online dating. I was put off for LIFE!! What a lot of wierdos out there! I did find the love of my life online though eventually so keep wading through the loser and you'll find a nice guy in time.
My fave was the guy who told me online after a date "if you wanted to kiss me you should have told me". I didn't as it happened, I was trying to figure out how to end it with him!

Lindsay's Lounge said...

"the guy I had coffee with whose wedding I went to 6 weeks later"

I hope he was single at the time he met you AND surely it must have been more than 6 weeks?!?! (pleased you didn't use the words strange or wierd or funny or anything)

Sorry to hear there will be no more "wall" episodes :)

Kerryanne @ Shabby Art Boutique said...

Scary stuff Rachael and something I've never thought about. Then again, I'm married so shouldn't be thinking about such things anyway - LOL.
Hope you find Mr Right!!
Hugs ~ Kerryanne

Betty said...

Oh!! I remember those days! I did the internet thing too. I had given up when someone set me up on a blind date with my hubby. Guess it worked out ok. LOL
Good look Rachael. You deserve to find a prince!

Sugar Bear said...

My sister had used several of these sits and has had similar experiences. Dating is so hard! Sounds like you have figured out a good system.

Britt- Sparkled Vintage Charm said...

Hi sweetie! Dating sure can be a pain that is for sure! :-)I don't mention this to many people,but I met my hubby online. I had just broken up with a boyfriend and just wanted someone to text/email etc. to take my mind off the break up. (I broke up with him,but it was still hard since we had been together non stop) I didn't have any problems at all with creepy people online,but I met hubby in a religious dating site. Anyway, in the time I "met" hubby online I had been dating other guys in real life.(Not met from the internet. Guys I was set up with by friends etc.) but although I liked them oviously I fell head over heels in love with hubby. I actually fought it because I didn't want to marry someone from off the internet,but honestly..where does it matter where you met if it is meant to be? I adore him. You are a sweetheart and you will find somebody! (Not that it matters!! You are a wonderful person weither you are with a guy or not!! Anybody that gets you will be very lucky!!) hugs!!